06: I Struggle With the Winter Holidays
I'm going to apologize up front that this isn't really related to any of my declared blog topics of geekiness or queerness. It does skirt the edge of my politics though. I may have a few issues with the commercialism of the season. Also, I call them the Winter holidays due to there being so many of them. In addition to the 800 pound gorilla that is Christmas; there is Bodhi Day, Hanukkah, Krampusnacht, Kwanzaa, Newtonmas, New Year's, Pancha Ganapati, Solstice, Thanksgiving (U.S.), Yalda, Yule, and more.
As a child, I loved this time of year. It was magical, full of awesome food and gifts. As I got older, I grew to like it less and less. It became less about joy and more about expectations. It was about what I was supposed to do instead of what I liked to do. As an adult; I know that I'm supposed to go to work, pay my bills, vote, clean house, not be a dick, and so on. That's all fine. It's the added expectations around this time of year that has sucked any joy I had out of it.
We live in a world full of social obligations and capitalism. On a whole, I'm not opposed to small amounts of either. I like spending time with my friends and some of my family. I also like to sell and buy things. I really like to give the people I care about gifts. Most of what I buy when I travel isn't for me. I really don't need that many stickers, magnets, or shot glasses. Where I start having trouble is when those things are forced upon me.
Our society has gone beyond capitalism and into commercialism. Most of the time there is a subtle or not so subtle message to consume and buy. I can usually tune it out. I use ad blockers on the internet, play on my phone during live TV's commercials, throw catalogs into the recycling bin without even looking at them, etc. I've been also making an effort to get rid of more things than I bring into my home. I'm no Marie Kondo with her minimalist and mostly empty home, but I am working on not being a candidate for one of those hoarders shows.
This time of year, there is a constant and overwhelming pressure to buy things. The number of catalogs we'd normally get in a week comes in almost every day. A quick run to the store for milk or a replacement charger cable comes with an overwhelming reminder to buy things for the holidays. Every TV or radio channel is full of product placements outside of the regular advertising blocks. Hell, the news even pushes sales by saying how dependent the economy is on this time of year's retail numbers. It's gotten so bad, that people have started giving up or negatively impacting their Thanksgiving meals with their families to go to stores for sales that aren't all that good. The message is, if you aren't buying things you don't care about your loved ones and want to see the economy fail. If you don't buy things, you are a terrible Human and a shitty American.
Fuck that. I do get a very few of my friends and family gifts, but I'm not going to bankrupt myself or go into debt to do it. If I can't buy it with cashy money, I don't buy it. I'm not a cheapskate, but I don't spend a ton of money on these holidays. A few well chosen items are much better than a huge pile of less well thought out gifts. I'm also not going to buy into the idea that I have to get things for everyone in my life. I can like, even love you, and not get you things you really don't need. I have over 100 relatives that are first cousins or closer. No way in hell am I buying that many gifts. Lastly, I'm also not going to run out into the insanity of this time of year to do it either. I accumulate things throughout the year, order from small online retailers, and go to local small businesses for most of my purchases. Other than needed grocery/pharmacy runs, I stay the hell away from most stores.
Working in retail and hospitality during this time of year introduced me to how crappy Humans really can be. I've had to tackle an adult male who was beating up a grandma for a that year's hot toy. I've had to kick people out of my store for letting their child pee on the floor because they wouldn't get out of a line to take the kid to the bathroom. I've been called every dirty name in the book for "ruining" the holiday of people who screwed up their own finances (pay your rent before you get a hotel room) or procrastinated on buying the (now sold out) hot item. People can be awful all year, but it gets worse this time of year.
I do not like a lot of the events that surround this time of year. Unfortunately; I've been guilt tripped by friends, family, and coworkers for not liking their thing of choice. I get that you love Christmas music. Other than some very specific songs, I do not. I get that White Elephant parties are your jam. They give me really bad anxiety. I'm not lonely. I don't need to be dragged out to be social. Go enjoy your thing without trying to make me feel like shit for not going with you. I'd be happy to meet up at the pub for beers or the park for a Pokemon Go walk (even in the cold) or go see this year's Star Wars movie. I'm just not interested in Christmas lights or seeing the Nutcracker ballet for the 20th time. You be you. Let me be me.
As a child, I loved this time of year. It was magical, full of awesome food and gifts. As I got older, I grew to like it less and less. It became less about joy and more about expectations. It was about what I was supposed to do instead of what I liked to do. As an adult; I know that I'm supposed to go to work, pay my bills, vote, clean house, not be a dick, and so on. That's all fine. It's the added expectations around this time of year that has sucked any joy I had out of it.
We live in a world full of social obligations and capitalism. On a whole, I'm not opposed to small amounts of either. I like spending time with my friends and some of my family. I also like to sell and buy things. I really like to give the people I care about gifts. Most of what I buy when I travel isn't for me. I really don't need that many stickers, magnets, or shot glasses. Where I start having trouble is when those things are forced upon me.
Our society has gone beyond capitalism and into commercialism. Most of the time there is a subtle or not so subtle message to consume and buy. I can usually tune it out. I use ad blockers on the internet, play on my phone during live TV's commercials, throw catalogs into the recycling bin without even looking at them, etc. I've been also making an effort to get rid of more things than I bring into my home. I'm no Marie Kondo with her minimalist and mostly empty home, but I am working on not being a candidate for one of those hoarders shows.
This time of year, there is a constant and overwhelming pressure to buy things. The number of catalogs we'd normally get in a week comes in almost every day. A quick run to the store for milk or a replacement charger cable comes with an overwhelming reminder to buy things for the holidays. Every TV or radio channel is full of product placements outside of the regular advertising blocks. Hell, the news even pushes sales by saying how dependent the economy is on this time of year's retail numbers. It's gotten so bad, that people have started giving up or negatively impacting their Thanksgiving meals with their families to go to stores for sales that aren't all that good. The message is, if you aren't buying things you don't care about your loved ones and want to see the economy fail. If you don't buy things, you are a terrible Human and a shitty American.
Fuck that. I do get a very few of my friends and family gifts, but I'm not going to bankrupt myself or go into debt to do it. If I can't buy it with cashy money, I don't buy it. I'm not a cheapskate, but I don't spend a ton of money on these holidays. A few well chosen items are much better than a huge pile of less well thought out gifts. I'm also not going to buy into the idea that I have to get things for everyone in my life. I can like, even love you, and not get you things you really don't need. I have over 100 relatives that are first cousins or closer. No way in hell am I buying that many gifts. Lastly, I'm also not going to run out into the insanity of this time of year to do it either. I accumulate things throughout the year, order from small online retailers, and go to local small businesses for most of my purchases. Other than needed grocery/pharmacy runs, I stay the hell away from most stores.
Working in retail and hospitality during this time of year introduced me to how crappy Humans really can be. I've had to tackle an adult male who was beating up a grandma for a that year's hot toy. I've had to kick people out of my store for letting their child pee on the floor because they wouldn't get out of a line to take the kid to the bathroom. I've been called every dirty name in the book for "ruining" the holiday of people who screwed up their own finances (pay your rent before you get a hotel room) or procrastinated on buying the (now sold out) hot item. People can be awful all year, but it gets worse this time of year.
I do not like a lot of the events that surround this time of year. Unfortunately; I've been guilt tripped by friends, family, and coworkers for not liking their thing of choice. I get that you love Christmas music. Other than some very specific songs, I do not. I get that White Elephant parties are your jam. They give me really bad anxiety. I'm not lonely. I don't need to be dragged out to be social. Go enjoy your thing without trying to make me feel like shit for not going with you. I'd be happy to meet up at the pub for beers or the park for a Pokemon Go walk (even in the cold) or go see this year's Star Wars movie. I'm just not interested in Christmas lights or seeing the Nutcracker ballet for the 20th time. You be you. Let me be me.
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